just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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