Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you would pick up someone in the library
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize