I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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