Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
