have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
