My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize