I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
