Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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