I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
