This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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