i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize