I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize