I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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