You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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