Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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