Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
