Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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