"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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