I want to stick my p in your. b.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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