Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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