I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is Oprah even human
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
