Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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