Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
