hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize