its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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