super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
