I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
