dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize