i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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