this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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