i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
