dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
