Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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