This girl is more easily done than said...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
porn star boner night. come get it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
