I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
