i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize