so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
