I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
