she smelled like a LAN party
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
