didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
