That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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