is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
