I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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