No awkward lesbian experiences without me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
