i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
