I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
