it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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