Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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