Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
