I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
