I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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