he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
