I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
