This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
