rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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