grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
