How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
