franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
