I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
