I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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