Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
