I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
