I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
