I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
