She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
