Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
