I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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